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How to Stay Hopeful When Things Don't Go As Planned

Hi friends!

If any of you read the carousel of my recent Instagram post, here, you would have seen that Jared, my fiancé, and I have been through quite a lot in the last quarter of 2023. In short, Jared totaled his car, and shortly after, I was suddenly laid off from my job of eight months due to a mass financial restructure within the company. Not only that, but we had a trip planned, and were preparing to move up into the city. Back in August, my little sister was in a near-fatal car accident that shocked my family and left us confused, and scared.

On top of all of this, we are planning a beautiful wedding in the coming months!

To say a lot has happened, and is still happening, is quite an understatement.

I am not typically someone who enjoys change. In fact, I try to resist it as much as possible. This is probably evident due to my past blog posts. I find security in my home, in my roots, and any outside force poses as a threat, trying to tear me from my familiar surroundings. You can read more about this in a creative nonfiction piece I recently shared to Medium called "I am different here".

Things had started to look better, with time. Once we moved in, time seemed to slow and we settled into our new surroundings with ease. I even began my new journey as a freelance writer and book editor!

Just as I was sinking into a steady flow, had meetings scheduled with potential clients, and approaching deadlines on my radar, I caught a sudden bug that left me bedridden for two straight days. I thought to myself: Wow, do things ever work out for me?

However, in my experience, the most important thing to do during times of uncertainty, or sudden change, is to remain hopeful. Doing this, of course, can be difficult. It's easy to sink into a state of pessimism, and assume that the world is out to get you. It's easy to succumb to the harsh implications around us and accept them as truth.

It's certainly not always easy to trust that all of these hardships are happening for the greater good. Especially when so much seems to be going wrong. And yet, it always feels so much better to do so. To trust that the Universe is on your side is an immaculate, powerful feeling!

The following are the steps I took to remain hopeful throughout these many changes in my life. Full transparency: It hasn't always been easy. But, I hope this knowledge helps you as it has helped me.

Reflect on what could have been

Take some thing to ponder on additional outcomes that could have been. Allow yourself time to mourn alternative realities. For instance, if my fiancé's car hadn't been totaled, then we would still have an SUV to take with us camping. Spend time exploring what may have happened if things had turned out another way.

It may strange to do this, but it's important to give yourself a chance to grieve. By doing so, you'll better understand the value of the situation. For example, the car to us symbolized security, and freedom. Without it, we feel like a part of ourselves is missing. So, we must foster security and freedom elsewhere for the time being.

Live out this alternate story, and maybe even enjoy it. Afterwards, you must accept that we cannot change the past. The now is our only truth.

Accept what did happen, and learn from it

We must accept that life has a certain course of action, and there's no changing what has happened. Moving on is not possible unless we let go, and take reality for what it is. If we hold onto guilt, or resentment, or what-if's, then we will trap ourselves in a never-ending loop of pity and grief.

All we can do is learn what we can, and move on. Sometimes, there may not even be a lot to learn; things just happen. And that's okay. It's not your fault.

Trust that it is all working out for you; Shift your mindset

Each morning, I've been enjoying a refreshing journaling practice and some EFT Tapping. Sometimes, I even toss in some visualization, and I always implement gratitude. I refer to this 30-minute time block as my mindset work.

For a while, I thought I had accepted my new reality, but found that I was still holding onto so much. I decided to pick up my journal, dust off the cover, and write out all of my junk. Doing so helped me understand my true feelings, and I was then able to gently shift my mindset through manifestation work, tapping, gratitude, and visualization. I was able to transform my fear, worry, regret, and remorse into feelings of hopefulness, acceptance, relief, and understanding.

I may not know why these things are happening in my life, but at least I can trust that something good is coming my way. Because everything is always working out for us in the ways we may least expect.

Trust that everything is working out for you in wonderful ways. Right now, as you're reading this.

Take action toward a better future

As classically spoken: You can't win the lottery without first buying a ticket. It's important to both have hope as well as go after your dream reality with confidence, and drive!

Perhaps life isn't turning out as you'd like. Maybe you, too, are experiencing a job loss, or a sudden illness. What can you do to change your situation, if anything? What do you need to start implementing into your daily routine? Perhaps you're not fulfilled and you'd like to explore additional opportunities in your life.

Don't be afraid--the time is now! It is my firm belief that uncertainty helps push us toward the lives we are truly meant to embody!

Try your best to take attainable action toward a better future by setting realistic goals and rising from the ashes. You are the only person who knows you best; have hope in yourself, and you can do anything you set your mind to.

I do hope you've enjoyed this post. I know that, whatever you may be going through at this time, will pass. The light will shine bright at the end of the tunnel. You might even be amazed at what a little hope can do!

Probably writing,


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