Greetings, friends!
It has been nearly a year since I last uploaded a blog post. I apologize for this silence. Last year was filled with so much change. Change that was marvelous yet also quite challenging at times. I spent the greater part of last year nurturing myself and healing while also soaking up so much good.
First, I got married in April. Then, my husband, Jared, and I kicked off the celebration by taking off on a two-week trip to the Mediterranean, exploring Italy, France, Spain, and Malta. I had never been to Europe before, so this was truly a treasure and I am grateful for the experience.
Four months later, after settling into my new job and digging my heels deeper into a reformulated health and wellness regimen, Jared and I adopted a four-month-old rescue puppy, Billy. He is a beloved member of our family and each day, I look forward to his tail wags and wide smiles. But as anyone who has raised a puppy knows—raising him, though rewarding, has been far from easy. It has demanded patience, practice, and a shifted mindset.
Oh, and I also ran my second marathon, this time at my husband's side! :)
Though filled with so many memorable firsts, 2024 demanded a lot of me. In turn, the year taught me a lot. As I write this, I can happily say that my cup feels full, nearly overfilling with lessons learned, knowledge absorbed, and a new perspective. I hope to share some of this newfound insight with you here today.
What does "balance" in life even look like?
Frankly, I'm still trying to figure that out. But I think it means to spend enough time fulfilling all of your needs. Each day, you need x amount of sleep, enough exercise, time for self-care, moments for socializing, healthy food, and enough slivers of time for chores and errands. Balance means taking control of your life and finding an equilibrium that you can return to when things get too busy, frantic, or overwhelming.
Personally, I have always struggled to find balance. But if I spend too much time "neglecting" my fundamental needs, my life goes a little haywire. Through this past year, I've picked up a few simple tips (as I often do) to help me return to my center, find a routine that sticks, and really, just simplify my life.
If you haven't already, fetch yourself a cup of coffee, settle in, and allow me to share four ways that I learned to cultivate balance in my everyday life.
Stop Comparing Yourself
You likely didn't expect this as the first lesson. But I've found that comparison, aside from being the well-known thief of joy, is truly at the center of imbalance. At least, in my life.
Comparing myself taught me that what I had in life wasn't enough. I wasn't working out hard enough, didn't have enough clothes, didn't wake up early enough, didn't have enough friends. These thoughts raced in my mind and I struggled to sit still. I struggled to stick to a routine because I kept piling so much on my plate. I felt pressured to wake up at 5 a.m., exercise every day, and read 100s of books a year. I implemented strict habits because I thought they were good for me; I thought by incorporating them, I would have a balanced life. However, I realized that I was just comparing myself and my life to others and trying to stuff myself in a mold that simply didn't fit.
To truly find balance in life, you need to harness your inner self. Only you know what is best for you. Do you need more sleep than others? Maybe more water? Do you need cardio in your life to feel less restless? Or do you prefer yoga and pilates? Do you enjoy meditation, or find that it doesn't work for you? Do you like to read, or would you rather spend your time listening to music or drawing?
I know that you know this, but truly, everyone is different and therefore, leads different lives. If we try to follow in everyone's footsteps (even successful YouTube vloggers who seemingly have their lives together), we will rarely feel balanced.
Follow a Weekly Schedule For Your Hobbies
For many months, I yearned to write creatively again. But I never did. Not until now. Why? There are many reasons: I had a lot going on and felt a little drained, I was self-editing my horror novel, Otherside, and the piece I wanted to write most hit too close to home.
I'm not myself when I don't write. I know this. I've always known this. So when the subtle calls came, urging me to pick up the pen and go, I finally answered. First, though, I needed a routine, or else the habit wouldn't stick. Writing every day has never worked for me, and my life is often too busy for that right now, but going too long without writing pushed the practice to the wayside. I needed to reignite my fire, but carefully.
An idea blossomed. I created a weekly schedule, not a daily schedule. I would write three times a week, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays (and if I couldn't make it on that specific day, I would just write on Monday or Wednesday instead). Each time, I would write for at least 15 minutes, but no more than 30. One day a week (usually on Tuesdays), I would work on something new, like a writing prompt or a little idea. The other two days, I would focus on my main project, like a novel or short story. Whatever I was working on, I had to write. I had to set a timer, put my head down, and create.
This weekly schedule, albeit seemingly simple, has propelled me back into writing. I'm elated to share that, since implementing this, I have made some progress on a short story, have completed Otherside, and have begun playing around with some fun novel ideas!
Choose a hobby or interest that you haven't been consistently practicing, and create a weekly schedule. Not too much, nor too little; just enough of a routine to dip your toes back in the water.
Embrace The Mess
Sometimes, I feel like I spend so much of my day focusing on the mess all around me. I struggle to sit down and write because my desk is cluttered, or I tumble into my own mind, feeling stressed about all of the texts I forgot to reply to (again!).
As a young adult, I must be honest: the endless mountain of chores and responsibilities is fairly new to me. Especially since getting a dog. There is always something to be done, and it's easy to feel far behind.
But, what I have learned in recent months is that sometimes, you have to learn how to be okay with the mess. Embrace your busy schedule. Accept your cluttered pantry. Be kind to yourself when you are forgetful or run late. You will never be perfect, and your home will never be 100% clean. If you're always striving for a pristine life, you will be exhausted. In my post, Why I Don't Like Minimalism, I explore this a bit more.
Life is messy. That's normal. You're not a slob if you have a pile of clothes in your chair, or toothpaste smudges on your sink. Set aside time to tidy up (maybe you create a weekly cleaning schedule if you don't have one already) but maybe not right now. Maybe instead, you take a breath and enjoy a peaceful moment with yourself.
Put Your Phone Down
If you often feel like you have no time in the day for balance, maybe it's time to take a look at your screen time. Recently, I downloaded an app called Screen Zen, which has completely changed how I use my phone. With this app, you can program specific screen time rules so that you can spend less time scrolling and more time living your life. Whenever I try to open social media, a message pops up that reads, "Is this important?" Most times, it isn't. I allot myself 3o minutes of screen time, twice a day, but surprisingly, I often go days, even an entire week, without going online.
There are plenty of ways to unwind in healthier ways. Perhaps replace your evening scroll with a few pages of a book, a nature documentary, some interesting news articles, or some time to spend doing art. Maybe you try your hand at transcendental meditation or go for an afternoon stroll. And this is not me trying to tell you to be productive during your downtime. Not at all. But, if you've been feeling overwhelmed, uncentered, and struggling to find balance, maybe give some other activities a go. If you've been too busy to partake in your hobbies, maybe this free time will allow space for them again.
I sincerely hope my words have been helpful and encouraging. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I hope to write a blog post once a month, ideally on the last Sunday of each month, so be on the lookout for exciting new insights sent straight to your inbox (if you choose to subscribe). Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and for being here following my hiatus. Have a lovely day/evening!
Warmly,
Brittney Atkins
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